Ilmira overthinks : Somewhere only we know by Keane

When I drive alone, I put the music on really loud and sing, and sometimes I realllllly feel the song. Then I start overthinking and  looking back at life and it leaves me emotionally charged.

This song came on when I was driving home from meeting up with a bunch of primary school friends, gave me the feels, you know?

We go through life and cross paths with so many people. Not everyone will be relavant, but  more often than not people leave pockets of  memories for you to look back at from time to time. Now Im not attaching a value judgement to these memories, I hope most for you are good, but sometimes they are bad. Its like we go to temporary places with the people we meet and sometimes the pictures we end up with are just plain horrible. But the point is, its all temporary.

In my opinion, thats pretty tough to swallow.

 People  always come and people will definitely go, in one way or another. You've probably heard this a million times, and I personally am so sick of having this slapped across my conscience. Sometimes, I feel like when you realize you've lost contact with someone, I wish I had no good memories of them. It makes it so much easier to deal with, no, 'omg I was so happy'. Emphasis on the was, because past happiness kind of makes me sad.

But then I realize Im wishing for a life of bad experiences. Hold up Mirr, lets think this through.

You don't own somebody just because you've had a couple, or heck even a truck load, of memories with them. You can never own anyone, and nobody can ever own you. There is no bond that is inseparable, some bonds much stronger than others but ultimately, human relationships aren't meant to span forever, save the relationship you have with yourself.

So if it wont last, why bother?

Because even though we're all on individual paths, maybe we need to leave a mark on other people to help them through theirs. Maybe someones mark on you in vital for your own journey. Be it good or bad, the people that matter will always leave with a lesson, a sliver of hope, some sort of revelation. So the next time you find that the your time with somebody is up, after you've greived what you have to, focus on where that relationship brought you. Don't fret too much about controlling relationships- ending them abruptly or prolonging them unessacarily. Just focus on giving what you can and taking what you should, things will end when they have to. I mean don't just leave it up to faith and be all like, ok not gonna try, but you should'nt go into relationships with the urge to let go immediately, and you should let go when you must.

Have faith that once you've touched someone, they'll always have a special place for you, maybe not where it originally was, but you're there. So in that sense, theres no such thing as losing anyone completely is there? If our beings are temporary then so is our physical presence. Maybe the only permanent things we have are abstract; the experiences we've had, the memories others have of us, and the souls we've touched.

But its nice, to keep in touch. To be able to visit places, special ones, with the people who were once so important to us. Its tough to have to go through good memories alone, like walking through empty houses that you once shared with somebody. Its easiest then to remember it bad, to paint out everything like it was always faulty. But hey, nothing is ever purely good or purely bad, you have to accept two things ; 1) That people are allowed to and will inevitably leave you and 2) You owe it to those who have meant something to you to give them full credit for the good, and you owe it to yourself to give full credit for the bad.

 Alhamdullilah, I keep in contact with a lot of my friends, most of the people who matter are still actively sharing experinces with me. The ones that aren't actively in my life, I can meet up and revisit old places, like I did earlier tonight. And for the ones that I can't, Im grateful that there is not one relationship that I am not thankful for. In retrospect, I've had amazing experiences with people, there is not one relationship where I look back, and the first thing I remember is the bad.

Although its nice to revisit the our memories, its never really the same. Memories may be the nearest reflection of special moments but they are truly never accurate. You can look back with everyone who was there with you or you could look back alone, but you'll never be able to really be in that moment ever again. So ultimately, its important to enjoy what you have, to live in the moment and give it all you've got.

So what we do with the memories?

They are my training wheels. I put them on my back wheels, behind me to remind myself that the past does not define me and I should not keep looking at it, but always there to help me strive on, that I've always always encountered good scenery, even on the bumpiest of roads.

How about you?

Love,
Mirr

Disclaimer ! I have no attachment to this song, it was never 'the song' for me and anybody, not a friend or anything. It just got me thinking of memories and revisiting th past.