Goodbye KY

I officially graduated from KYUEM today!

Graduations and goodbyes are usually filled with bittersweet sentiments, and today was no exception. I think today was the one and only day that I did not rush to get out of college and go home, because as Batu had aptly put it 'Those doors are the end of all this, and we're looking straight at it"

A lot of people graduate KY claiming that the best years of their lives had been spent in that remote campus. I feel that way too. KYUEM was a place that made me feel like I could belong, and I think everyone goes about life looking for a place like that. Upon entering KY, I was a girl who had gone through very different experiences. I went to a fairly liberal and westernised primary school, a very conservative traditional high school, and have been in situations of both extremes. As a result, I always felt like my experiences were always so in conflict with each other. I was always either too conservative or too liberal and hardly anywhere in between, and every time one world crossed with the other, people got shocked and confused. But in KY, theres a place for everybody, all types and concoctions. And if you're in between, no-one will leave you out or not welcome you for it. Sure there are cliques, but my time in KY has made me experience one thing I never had before; no huge obvious divide. You could go to the dining hall alone and know that you would be welcome at any table, and I feel like if we needed an example of a diverse community peacefully coexisting, you just need to come and see our campus. We have comparative religion talks, and religious groups often welcome people of other faith to join in their activities (MUSCOM has surau open days for everybody and welcomes even non-muslims to join their feast, and the christians offered to make prayers for anybody when it came to exam season). We celebrate all holidays with the same amount of gusto, we smile to each other at the walkway (seriously, everyone is so nice to each other, sometimes I get tired from smiling). When I decided to take off my hijab, nobody treated me any differently. The people in the surau welcomed me just the same, people who were curious openly asked me and respected my decision. I didn't feel any hate. Its seen me heart broken, I met a group of girl friends who literally gave me a home when I was at my absolute weakest. And even then, when I ran for president, everyone gave me an equal chance and didn't use my personal battles against me. I've met friends who have welcomed me in, even though I hardly talked to them. You know, everyone gives you chances there. Its great

KY has to be the one place I grew up the most (not physically, if anything I got smaller heh). I am so so glad for everything that this institution had to offer me. Not to mention the amazing teachers who honestly care so much about you. World class, my teachers. Through the good and the bad, I'm so grateful for my time here. 

I'll end this post with a spam of graduation photos, or at least the ones I have with me, so enjoy!

My everyday gang. We take all the same subjects and are forced to spend so much time together.

AJ, Hanna and Mire came to support Fie, Datin and I on our big day :)

Farr and Kas, and Aisyah below are my apartment mates just btw 

The Yayasan Khazanah family, the whole reason I'm here to begin with. Thank you YK!

FAB

This is Ben. Smart, single, sexy. PM for enquiries.

Love,

Mirr

Apartment 5

In my first two semesters in KYUEM, I was hardly ever in my assigned room. I was always bunking in one chalet or the other, curled into bean bags and living out of a suitcase, but oh boy it was so fun. All my closest friends welcomed me in and it was a hugeee plus point that the chalets were so much nearer to the acad blocks then the apartments were. It took me half the effort, half the time, half the everything to get to my classes; the apartments were literally on the other side of the world and I dreaded it. 

Coming into senior year all my closest friends had finished their time in KY, flew off to pursue their degrees and left me chalet-less. I had no choice but to settle for the apartment the administration had assigned me to ( accommodation is first come first serve during registration day, and my batch was too big to allow for every girl to be moved into a chalet during her senior year). I decorated my room to the absolute max to make up for it, but after a while, my room turned out to be the best apartment everrrr and its all thanks to Aisyah, Kas and Farr, my roommates.

Farr and I were good friends since TKC times. She's kinda loud and a little bit crazy, but whenever Im sick she literally wipes down my body and feeds me and babies me like the softie mat settle she is. Aisyah I met in KY, we have all the same classes (well, I took econs and she took psychology but we both dropped it after AS) and the system kind of forced us to be together all the time. She has a resting bitch face (and she knows it) + she's more of the quiet kind so I used to be pretty intimidated by her (hi Aisyah, its true, please don't use this against me). But guys she's honestly so kind. She's the only one with a fridge and lets us all come into her room to borrow it and to just hang. Like, we just hang out in her room, its like the relaxation hub, and she's never chased any of us out or anything like that, so most of our great roommate moments were in her room (I miss it almost as much as I miss my own room tbh). And then we have Kas, oh Kassy-ku. Kasthuri, well, she's from Kedah and when I first met her she was a scared little indian girl who just came to the city type. She's cute and talkative and friendly, and we just love teaching her things that would make any naive little indian girl blush. But she's like so sporting, and I've witnessed her grow soooo much. 

Occasionally (read : often) people will come to our room to study, or to hang out. Anisah and Fie we're always just popping in and out (and we'd always know when Fie was coming cause she'd SLAM the door on her way in). Towards the end of it, Adriana was in our room pretty much the whole day, except when she needed to sleep or mandi or things like that. She set up a port at our common room table didn't leave if she didn't absolutely have to. All these people helped make the room cheery and fun.

The way our apartment works is that we pretty much do our own stuff, and let each other have the space to do whatever it is that we want to do. We're pretty different people inherently, but we all respect and learn from each other. In our last semester we were pretty much just studying in our own rooms most of the time. Once in a while, after doing a paper or when we get stressed, one person will walk into Aisyahs room and plonk herself on the bed. Slowly another person joins in, and another, and another. Then everyone forgets the fact that we actually are supposed to be studying and the conversation quickly turns to religion or gossip or sex, you know, the usual 20- something topics. When I get to stressed I'll attempt to twerk and we'd google tutorials on how to do that because its harder than it looks guys! Someone would come in and just randomly ask, 'Kas do you know what oral is?' and we'd have to teach her and watch her eyes bulge out of her head and have a good old laugh in the process.

Most of the stories and pictures we have are way too X rated or personal to be shared so publicly, we were in close quarters so we've literally seen and smelt it all. We weren't always seen with each other stuck like glue outside of our room, but within apartment 5, Id like to say we were pretty damn close. We shared our different views and became wiser after every session, assured each other that you did not have to be fair skinned, big boobed or flat stomach to be beautiful. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't think I could ever have gotten more blessed in the roommate department. We balanced each other out, and though we weren't very openly affectionate with each other ( in fact there were some very strong love-hate sentimenta sometimes), I love my roommates. 

I hope everyone reading has the pleasure of meeting people who may not have the same viewpoint as you and learn from them. It makes for lovely friendships, you can take my word for it.

Love, 

Mirr

Im through with A2!

I am a truly happy child.

Currently I'm on my roommates (Aisyah's) bed, because my room has been cleared out and I hateeee the empty walls. In an hour or so I'll be on the way, if not already, at home. I'm the first one in my apartment to go home for good, and I'm that in that typical bitter sweet mood that comes with goodbyes. 

A levels was tough man, I'll tell you that. I guess I've always had it easy in my studies, putting in minimal effort and getting by fine, but for A levels, I had to grind (and I mean grind - my closest friends were kind of shocked to see me care so much). But it has come and it has gone, I'm grateful to say that I think I couldn't have done my papers any better, so even if things ultimately don't go my way, I've done my absolute best and thats the best place I can be. 

A handful of people have been asking me whats next. And the honest answer is, I get to be an absolute bum again and not feel guilty about it, the joy! I have a few months off before I'll even know for sure whats next in my education path. A levels results come out sometime in August, and IF I meet my sponsors and university requirements, then insyaAllah, Ill be pursuing Pharmacy in UCL, London. Thats a bigggg if ( and that one chem paper was pretty tough....) but if I don't get to execute my plan A, I've got backup plans (Murni Midwife Service, anyone?)

But in the mean time, I want pursue things thats been on my to do list for absolute ages. I wanna learn how to sew, start cooking again, and basically do everything I've been putting off since my A levels grind started. In relation to that, I'm planning on selling off my textbooks, other useful books and some of my clothes/stuff for quite cheap ( A levels textbooks burn multiple holes in you pockets believe me), but I'm not sure what medium is best, so I'll set up a poll by my sidebar so you can vote. If you do know anybody who will be taking A levels, and is planning on doing Chemistry, Biology and Maths (+ taking statistics), you can tell them to contact me! But anyway, something really exciting ( I feel) is that I have a ten day countdown to my 20th birthday ( YES, 20!!! ) so I want write one blogpost everyday up till the 28th of May. You can expect a post every 9.30 pm, or maybe slightly earlier, but Ill try make that 9.30 deadline for all you readers!

I'm honestly filled with so much emotion right now. KY is a place where I did a lotttt of growing up, and a lot of learning. My first two sems I discovered the most supportive network of friends ever, and my second two, I learned to grow and be completely true to my self. Also, I loveeee my apartment mates. We have this ongoing joke that our lives together can be turned into a sitcom, and its not even half false. As far as roommates go, I don't think I could've gotten luckier. I'll write about my crazy little apartment 5 in an exclusive post later! The thing is, I've gotten attached to my room a lot, as in, my personal room not the apartment we share. I don't have a room thats exclusively mine at home ( and I don't mind it one bit) but I really did turn my room into my space, had a whole wall full of pictures, I was in complete control over how I wanted it to be like. But now that I'm leaving, I just had to take down all my photos and pack up my candle corner, and damn, it feels so different. Un-making the room mine was so weird, and thats when i realised that as much as Im dying to live my life out of this jungle-bound campus, I truly will miss it here.

Till tomorrow darlings.

Love,

Mirr

Im applying for uni !

I am sat here, in the Resource Center in KY, the most nervous I have ever been in my life. 

I just did all my corrections on UCAS, and Im just waiting for final comments about my personal statement before I submit in my application form. Yes, my actualy legit real application to university in the UK. This form will literally determine my next 4 years, and my degree and in my opinion, a lot of the rest of my life. This online page, this is it.

This page looks so, standardised. It almost disturbs me that this is alllll that my dream univerity admission officers will know about me. I mean COME ONE, Let me take you to coffee come get to know me better, IM MORE THAN THIS. But alas, this is it, this is all I get to show and I have flexed all I can flex.

UCAS allows you to apply to 5 unis in England, and 4/5 of my choices are all London schools, haha. Yeahp, putting allll my cards in. Im so grateful for KY's University Relations office. They have earlier deadlines and I was complaining a lot about it, but in hindsight, they guided me and my friends a lot. Don't think other colleges have an office dedicated to University applications or have people as dedicated as our Pn Kas. Still though, I am extremely anxious, and Im just praying praying and prayinggg that I get into my first choice uni.

Ok I sort of wrote this to just de-gelabah. If any of you are applying to UCAS as well, good luck! 

Love,

Mirr

Sweet disposition

:)

Hello everyone! First and foremost, I wanna apologise for not blogging as regularly as I used to, semester 3 just started and although its not an exam semester, its definitely a busy one; KY has back to back events from bangsawan, to KY summit to diwali, Im in the midst of Uni application AND  Im not planning on dropping any subjects so my day to day class schedueles are pretty full (aikes, wish me luck with my time management!)

But anyway, excuses aside, my life has been great, Alhamdullilah. Reflecting on my recent stroke of good luck, I've decided to try and incorporate some positive habits in my life;

1. Take the time to be grateful, and let the good happen. I believe this is truly easier said than done, it very easy to be consumed by negativity, I was there for a very very long time, but I've realised that the moment you count the blessing you have instead of the ones you don't have, your life instantly gets better. Also, if you dwell in your misfortunes, you'll probably miss out on the good that comes your way. You'll probably discredit it, and miss out on amazing oppurtunities that could bring you so much joy. There's a silver lining to every cloud, you just have to look out for it.

2. Create a space for yourself, and keep it tidy! Everyone needs a safe place, like literally, it helps so much. I've decked out my room exactly the way I want it, and its so relieving to come back to a space that makes me happy. I try to make my bed no matter how late I am, but it pays so much to come back after a full day of classes, and see everything in its place. Light a few candles and change into your jim jams and everything just seems right. A positive environment makes for a positive life, tried and tested ! 

3. Dont slouch and drink lots of water. Its good for you, nuff said.

4. Acknowledge that different times mean different ways. Treat experience as a great teacher but be open to the fact that things may not be the same the second time round, and thats not a bad thing. Whether it be different exams or new relationships or 'the way kids nowadays socialise is so different' ,  you'll hardly come across the same situation twice. So be open and be prepared for change, because thats the only constant thing in life.

5. Make it up to our parents, not only in the way you want to, but also in the way the want you too. I think its undeniable that we owe our parents something if not everything lol. And its likely that we will dissapoint them a few times, but its most important to keep putting in effort to make them proud. And not just that, because although you might want to give them things like good results and no disipline cases, maybe all they want you to do is be at home or make them a cup of tea or whatever. There is good in giving, and even more when you give in the ways that people want. 

6. Remember your passwords ! Don't be like me kids, I may miss a ky deadline because of this problem. Its not fun, Ill probably get scolded no :'( I've like given a few of my passwords to a certain someone cause I keep forgetting them, can someone create an app for this please ! 

Okay so I have to get back to guessing my password for my kyucas, because I am such a dopehead sometimes and if I end up spending three hours on this I probably deserve it. Ill just end this post by saying that life has been so so kind to me, and it feels like everything is falling into place. Till next time.

(Also please say a prayer for me so that i settle my password problem guys!) 

Love,

Mirr

Back to college : Semester 3

I've re-entered college after what was a very well spent summer break. Its week two already into the semester, and its going pretty well.

Some background info, for those who may not know. I go to KYUEM, thats Kolej Yayasan UEM. The UEM doesn't stand for anything, and if it does, I don't know what it means (lol). *Edit* UEM stands for united engineers malaysia, creds to Thevesh and Naim for pointing this out to be me*  Its a boarding college in Tanjung Malim, Perak, everyone here does A levels, and I quite love it here (best academic institution yet in my opinion) 

So anyway, I thought coming back this semester was going to be tough. One huge (and probably the only) reason was because the senior batch has graduated, so I had to say goodbye to a lot of my friends who I grew very attached to over the last two semesters. I made a bunch of girlfriends who met me when I was literally at my lowest, and who literally nurtured me till I got stronger, it was like having 6 tiger loving moms. I moved into their rooms, I invaded their space, I have cried on their shoulders at an average rate of three times a week but most of all, I found a home in every single one of my girls. A little picture tribute to my bbgs;

I cried buckets the day they left, and I still miss them terribly (and keep in contact quite a lot via random meet ups, snapchat and hours on end on FaceTime). However, Im doing better than I thought I would without them. So here's a little thank you, for loving me so much, that even when you leave, I'm still overflowing with happiness.

So semester 3 is going pretty well. This is traditionally known as, the party semester, or, the semester where you apply to university, and even, the semester before shit gets real. University applications haven't started just yet, since AS results aren't out (thats due this coming Tuesday, yikes! Pray for me!!) so its been pretty chill. I decorated my room real nice (might post about it when I've got it completely done). I had fun during induction, getting to know the juniors and all that, and Im back to my KY routines. My, what do I wear tomorrow routine, my finding a way to go back on Friday and almost always end up with Datin routine (LOVE YOU 10), my read a book in the Saad Square habit. 

Gets way too cold in the library for me, and paper towns was so-so if you want my opinion.

One thing I've really noticed about this semester is my attitude. I feel more, into life (?) more positive and just overall happy. I don't wake up wishing for the day to end anymore, I focus in class more and I've learned to cope better with factors that may knock me off balance. I'm also eating, regularly, healthily, and don't feel guilty at all about it. These may be normal things to another person, but my attitude is a personal achievement for me. I think this is optimism, and I really do love what its doing to me.

So, pretty much thats just it. This post should have come earlier but I've been terribly busy, so apologies for that. Im having a great 3rd semester, not extremely dramatic and eventful (though a lot of events), but its just a nice, stable, calm. I hope it remains this way after results day, just got my slip with my password to check online, and omg guys, this feels so real. Was brainstorming back up plans for life with my classmates just now, but InsyaAllah, I hope hope hope I get to do my degree in the UK as originally planned. Good luck to any of you who are getting your results on Tuesday too!

Also, before I forget. I was thinking of maybe taking pics of my ootd's and posting about what I wear to classes and all, since I admittedly put in quite some effort into what I wear. And Ill be completely honest, lazy days, effort days and everything in between. Wanted to know what you think about this, and about me injecting a bit of a fashion element into my blogging, so leave me a comment!

I hope all of you are having an equally good time, doing whatever it is you are doing.

Love,

Mirr