Super cozy

Its been about two weeks since I've arrived in London, and I think its safe to say that I have gotten used to the most things here. The cold still gets to me, and my skin is still adjusting to the weather, but other than that, I'm beginning to be able to get past the whole 'every is new' view point and take some time to really appreciate the things around me. I'm also learning a whole lot about myself, but one thing I did not expect is how much I appreciate coziness.

While most people would be out are enjoying the combination of freshers events, a newfound freedom that comes naturally with zero supervision and the fact that studies aren't too crazy just yet, I am coming to realise that there is no place I'd rather be than in my bed with some hot chocolate in hand. I enjoy cleaning my room, I talk to my plants and discounts at grocery stores make me more excited than anything. I'm trying to get into the habit of cooking actual, whole meals and bringing packed lunch to uni so I can save some money and sit in the park opposite my faculty. I love keeping warm - though its still a little aesthetic>warmth for me, but my logic is I need to wear all my cute not-so-warm outfits asap cause its only going to get colder #winteriscoming.

Usually, I'm asleep by 10.30pm and I'm awake by 7am. Even now (10.34) my body is already begging me to get under the duvets. In short, I'm turning into my mother.

It's not all that bad, but it definitely is surprising to me. I was the girl in the Facebook group asking about freshers wristbands 3 weeks before enrolling, but it turns out that Mira is actually full on domestic house cat. Ayah would be super pleased to know that its bed over clubs any day for me LOL.

But I guess thats what solitude does to you; it teaches you about yourself. 

Don't get me wrong, I've made friends guys! But most of the time I'm just doing things by myself. It's different, its not like a depressing kind of I'm alone, but its like, independence. And its good. Its not special or anything, everyone here is just totally relying on themselves more than anything, you don't really have a choice! But I'm enjoying it, I feel like a mature block of cheese.

Okay guys, wayyyy past my bedtime, I'll talk you to all soon

Love from London,

Mira

How do I make friends again?

I think I'm a friendly person.

Being an extrovert is something I definitely identify with. And despite some people telling me that I may come off as slightly intimidating, I'd like to think I'm pretty approachable, pretty friendly, pretty kool.

So the whole of last week I had induction, which was my first real encounter with being in university. I know, I know, inductions aren't usually reflective of what really goes down and tend to be boring and dragged out, but I was quite excited for it. It might have been the whole 'I travelled so far and worked so hard to be here' mindset, but yes, I was starry-eyed and snapping pictures to send to my loved ones. I think UCL is beautiful, and since I have to walk to get everywhere, I've been feeling rather touristy in my campus. But anyway, thats besides the point.

So I was excited; excited to see the faculty, excited to make new friends, excited to enter this whole new independent uber adult chapter in life. The least of my worries was making new friends because, hey, I'm friendly, I'm an extrovert, I make friends all the time. Easy peasy, piece of cake.

But oh mannnnnnnnnnn, I was wrong.

Being in a place where nobody knows anything about you, at all, makes you feel very small. Now that coupled with the fact that you are a foreigner, theres a crowd where everyone flocks with people who look like themselves and you don't really fit in into any place (#ethinicallyambigious) I was, perhaps for the first time in absolute years, really scared of making new friends.

Ah yes, I, Ilmira, all smiles and super talkative wanted to crawl into a ball and die of nervousness. 

I know it all sounds negative, but I'm not taking it has a total bad thing. Part of the reason why I wanted to come to a different country was to push my boundaries, get out of my comfort zone, and man its doing just that. In Malaysia, in almost every new place I'm at, theres bound to be someone who's heard of me somewhere; whether its from debate, or some super juicy gossip, or a friend of a friend, all this pre-knowing made it so easy for me to make friends. But now, when all that is gone, now what do you do Mirr, NOW WHAT.

I've been fighting the urge to pick up my phone and text my significant other. Been making the initiative to start the convo first, and yes, it gets weird after 5 minutes of silence, you're sitting next to this girl and the both of you are just...sitting there.... and turning around and saying 'HI' now would be a little weird but hey, DO IT. Making conversation is as easy as asking basic questions like, 'Are you from London?' , 'Its cold isn't it?' , 'What did you do yesterday?'. And the worsttttt thing that could happen is the conversation goes a little flat, but the best thing that could happen, you find someone who teaches you a lot, who helps you develop and is all around a great person to know and be with.

So yeah, this post is just a little shoutout to everyone who's ever or is currently struggling with making new friends. I know its not easy.  But I'm pretty sure everyone is feeling a little nervous too, so go ahead and say hi, compliment someone on something, complain about the weather to a stranger, do something. And on the worst of your days, remember that its completely normal, and even the most friendly/open/outgoing of people who share their lives on the internet (like me lol) gets a little nervous too.

Love from London,

Mirr

Im in London!

Greetings from London! 

It is currently 9.11 pm and Im snuggled in my bed, in a room which will be home for the next 9 months or so. Its a really nice room, in a really nice building, so I like it a lot. Haven't got the chance to meet many people yet though, so far only met 1 out of the 4 people I'm sharing my kitchen with. In any case, I now have Giovanni Grey to teman me in this room. She's a hot water bottle and my closest friend.

I reallllly like London. I've only been here for 2 days, but I feel like I'll fall in love with it easily. The weather right now is perrrrfect, we still get a lot of sun and at most all you need is a light jacket. My naive little heart is praying it'll stay like this forever (because I really cannot tahan sejuk one) but alas, winter is coming.... 

One thing I'm quite surprised about is how I haven't bumped into anybody at all. You'd think with the number of people studying in London nowadays you'd just terserempak with people every 5 minutes, but no. It hasn't been the case at all. I guess you really could very easily isolate yourself from the world and really not meet anybody. Being in the city, with the added knowledge that I will be living here alone, makes me feel small though not exactly in a bad way. Honest to goodness, I feel like nobody here knows anything about me (which is actually true la hah...) and I get to introduce myself complete clean slate to everybody. Its both exciting and a little scary. I'd like to say I'm quiteeee the friendly type, so its new to me that I feel kind of nervous now. Got to push past it though, probably just a newcomer thing.

Settling in has been quite a breeze. Ibu came to help me settle down, and being the compulsive planner that she is, I memang did not have to worry about much lah! I've got all basic necessities and have even personalised my room a little bit. The only thing is my BRP hasn't arrived yet, so a lot of things have to be put on hold. A BRP is this permit that you need to do things like open a bank account, and enrol into uni, so its really quite important. Slightly frustrated that its not here yet, but then again, what to do kan. C'est la vie life goes on. Though my current predicament does come with its perks, I had more time to just walk around and on my first day here, I went to see my uni and guys...

its beeeeaauuuttttiiiiffffullllll

This picture does it no justice at all. There were people just lazing and santai-ing around, and the sun was out, and I legit teared up. It felt like one of those movies when these gates open up to this big mansion and the sprinklers are on and everything is magnificent, except this time its my dream school ya feel. Induction starts tomorrow, and I'm really excited for it!!!!

i'm in uni?!?! i can't believe it I mean

this girl is in uni

I know it hasn't even started yet really, but its just really surreal to know that I actually already boarded that plane and am actually in this room that I applied for. I am both very happy/grateful, but leaving KL was really hard. I've never really been completely alone, always family an hour away, friends who I move in with or yknw, someone I'm dating nearby (lol, keep it real tho). The last week was a lot of tears and the airport was just, everyone was crying! Except maybe Ayden, Ayden was really scared because everyone was crying. Kesian the boy haha. I'm still really grateful that leaving was hard for me, cause man if it was easy then I must've lived a pretty miserable life.... Jokes aside, I'm going to make all this being away from the people I love worth it, and give this next few years a proper go.

Also guys I found cili padi!!!!!! 

Okay London, you have cili padi, I officially have no grudges against you.

Talk to you guys soon!

Love,

Mira

Productive Past-times : Documentaries

I've come to a point in my life where spending hours on my phone just doesn't appeal to me anymore. I used to be on youtube, clickbait video after clickbait video, indulging in every single production buzzfeed puts out on the internet, willingly getting myself stuck in that whirlwind that seems almost inescapable. I don't mean to sound wiser than thou when I say this but honestly, I'm over it.

Other than my weekly dose of Jenna Marbles, what I really enjoy doing whilst I'm alone at home lounging in bed, car-less and fret free, is watch documentaries. I find them educational, eye-opening and nicely produced. I feel educated after watching documentaries (cheh) as stuck up as it sounds. I've decided to list down a few documentaries which I truly enjoyed, and hey, maybe the next time you are consciously 'wasting time' you can tune in on these too!

1. Maternity Leave and Why the United States is the Only Developed Nation Without it

 - Broadly

Broadly makes some amazing documentaries, I'll suggest more than one from their channel in this post, but this documentary is hands down one of the most insightful ones I've had the pleasure of watching. I was so shocked to find out that America does not in fact have mandatory maternity leave (did you guys know this), but this documentary offers more than that. It looks into 3 main countries as case studies, USA with no mandatory policies on maternity leave, Papua New Guinea which is the only other nation with no mandatory maternity leave policies, and Sweden with one of if not the best family leave policies in the world. This documentary also offers insights on American policy makers who believe that family/maternity leave bring harm to both social justice and the economy, and opened up my eyes to the idea of paternity leave. A must watch, if you have an hour to spare. Just click here.

2. The Land of No Men : Inside Kenya's Women Only Village 

- Broadly

I first came across the idea of matriarchal villages whilst scrolling through tumblr, and was happy to find a documentary on it. This was my first Broadly documentary, and I loved how the presenter presented this documentary. Matriarchal villages in a deeply patriarchal nation is something that is both amazing and tugs at my curiosity. This one is more light-hearted but just as insightful, click here to watch.

3. Cult Leader Thinks He's Jesus

 - Vice

I think books and documentaries about cults are intriguing, like whoa, these people exist and are real. This documentary explores a cult which seem to live a very peaceful, idyllic life, worshipping a leader who claims to be Jesus Christ. In general, Vice makes lots of documentaries which are equal parts educational and shady. Click here to watch this documentary, and check out Vice as well if you have the time!

4. What It's like to be Intersex

- Buzzfeed Yellow

I always knew that being intersex was possible, but was never aware of the issue of children being forced to undergo surgeries which quite frankly, weren't truly necessary. For those of you who don't know, being intersex means being born with both characteristic male and female genitals, the malay term for it is kunsa. This video is short (less than 4 minutes) but is documentary like, and opened my eyes up to the whole intersex issue.  If you want to learn more, pleaseeeee take some time to watch it here.

5. Grace Neutral Explores Korea's Illegal Beauty Scene

- i-D

I didn't know that tattoo-ing is illegal in Korea, and being someone who loves the idea of tattoos and wishes to be inked, I found it interesting that people with tattoos are literally shunned in a nation that prides itself on aesthetic to the point of condoning plastic surgery. This documentary not only explores South Korea's tattoo scene, but also rises up the question of societal pressure on girls to look a certain way. I love Grace Neutral, pushing societal boundaries, and a well filmed and edited video, and this documentary provided all three. Click here to check it out for yourself.

I'm big on social justice and fighting discrimination, and I feel like being informed is the first step to achieving just that. Documentaries are great cause they're fun to watch and they are informative, so I really hope you people watch some of these videos here. I enjoyed all of them and I really hope you do too! Comment below if you have any documentary suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. 

Till next time!

love,

Mira

010916

Hello friends!

It sure has been a while, huh. I've missed this space, honest to goodness. But I'm back now and with a whole lot of updates. I'm also at a very rambly talk-a-lot-of-crap mood of my pms cycle, so I'll do this post with numbers okay, else I'll be going on foreverrrr

1. I'm going to uni! 

My results came out 3 weeks ago, and Alhamdullilah, I'll be going to UCL to pursue Pharmacy. I'm so excited to start uni life, I've heard its going to be a whole new experience and I'm going to learn and mature and all that, like cooool, I can get even more mature?!?!?! Inevitably though, that means...

2. London calling

I'll be in London InsyaAllah for the next few years. If you've read my blog you would know that I've been in boarding school almost my whole life, but I must admit that relocating to another country is a whole new level of board. I am extremely manja, and my family is very close. It will be pretty hard to not have my weekly Saturday and Sunday dinner with my extended family. I have some very small cousins whom I am obsessed with, and I'm so scared they forget my face :( I also will be leaving behind some of the closest people to me. I know its not like I'm going off to war and all that, but really, I have built relationships with some people that are so so so precious to me. Seriously, their making this so hard for me. But anyway, moving to London is something I am very excited to do. I'm expecting to be super in total control of my everything, and that appeals to me a whole lot. I also got my hands on a very nice accommodation, and I even got my own bathroom. I am super thrilled!!! Mixed feelings about this though because

3. Imma be completely alone, for the first time ever

I have been blessed an amazing support system, but this also means I've never truly been alone. I feel like I've always been independent, but never alone, you know? I know this will be great for my self growth but tbh guys, I'm kind of nervous about having a non-shared accommodation. Growing up in TKC (my high school boarding school), I've been sleeping in a dorm room for 5 years, and at home, my siblings and I always sleep in the same room together (#clinggy). I feel like I'm leaving the nest, which is good for me, but it all comes with a hint of nervousness.

4. Making most of Malaysia

I loveeeee this country. Its such a santai place, its just so damn lepak. I've honestly been really busy, but other than settling my visa/accommodation/allthatjazz , I've been busy lepaking. Planning to set a world record of how much cili padi and teh tarik I can consume. I have just gotten into the habit of eating cili paid with everything, and I hateeeeee myself for it. Where am I going to get cili paid in London? Do any of you know? Where can I get kicap and condensed milk? Seriously, if anybody knows please comment below. I have about 20 more days in this country, I'm not going to deny myself a single craving. Please comment also if you know a truly Malaysian place to eat or see. 

5. On blogging

I have a lot to share about my experience on studying and getting into uni, but I don't want to be writing post that won't benefit anybody and be all syok sendiri. Are any of you interested in hearing about uni applications or studying or visa? Let me know, I'm happy to share. My close friend Fie just started a blog, and theres a very good post with guest writers about how everyone got into their universities. Check it out if you need inspiration, I'll link it here. I will be writing on a schedule once I get settled in London. Posts will still be pretty sparse up till then, and I hope you people understand. Just really making the most of my time with people and not being on the internet.

6. Blog direction

I'm still a little confused as to how I want this space to be. Sometimes my posts are super informal and I'm just talking about me (like this one), sometimes I write really thought out pieces about well, my opinion. I noticed most people do only one of the other. I don't want to decide, I'm a gemini, I'm both! And I really do get to make new friends through this space (thank you to anyone who has reached out and emailed me!), so I like to keep it personal. I wish there was a way to make like a forum here, so fun! Maybe I'll buy my own domain soon, once I'll settled and have more than just lepak tales to offer. Please do let me know if theres anything you want to read, I do a bit of beauty, i do bit of life and opinion, I do a lot of nonsense. Can I not pick a singular direction? I never pick one direction with my friends anyway.

7. I can't seem to stay at home.

Really, I can't. During the day everyone is out working/studying, and I am alone. I have gotten over being on youtube for hours on end, and sometimes I get super frustrated that I am not out. I'm becoming a irritable extrovert! Normally I have Saida to go get coffee with, or I'll drive to see my lover wherever he is, but I also don't have access to a car now so I don't always have that option (My sister Dina drives Johan to college). This is weird for me, I used to be able to laze around at home all the time, even crave it. Now, I just want to fill up my schedule. I think its the impending doom of not being able to do certain things and see certain people for a long long time in less than a month (cause I'm flying off right) so I feel like why am I alone at home when I will be alone in London. Why am I not out ?!?!?! 

Anyway, you will hear from me more often soon. I really don't have much to blog about, but once I'm in London, I'm sure I will. Thank you so much for still checking this space. It might just be one person constantly refreshing, but I really do regard people who visit this as friends. Hope to hear from you soon and often.

Love,

Mira

23.07.16

Hello lovely people of the internet world!

I feel like I haven't updated this space about me in ages. My post nowadays centre around my opinions or beauty reviews, and I miss just plain ol blogging. 

I've been spending my time being a stay-at-home mom pretty much. Run errands for the family, drive around whoever needs to be driven, meet up with friends for brunch, set some time aside to exercise (yes, I do that now) and organise activities/small trips/adventures with loved ones. I feel like a late 20's social butterfly mom and i love it! This is the lifeeeee. Some of my friends who are in the same situation as me (i.e. waiting to enrol into uni) have taken on jobs or are interning, but not me, I just want to rest my bones. I figured, I'll be spending the next 4 years of my life (insyaAllah) interning my time away I should just take it easy before it all gets crazy and I have no choice but to hustle. 

Oh I also did this

Its just a wig! But I'm wearing it out and rocking it like my real hair. I've alwayyyys wanted to dye my hair blue/green, but my parents won't let me, so I found a way around the system. And to be honest, I really like wearing wigs now. It looks like real hair, a lottttt of people totally fell for it, and its not hot or uncomfortable. I think you shall see me in crazy colours a lot now. I'm having fun, being the pixie I always felt I was meant to be.

I'm laughing a whole lot nowadays. A-levels results are out 11th August, and I am sooooo nervous (pray for me please, if ikhlas, if you wanna), but I can't help but think that I could be leaving this country and all my loved ones pretty soon. I want to spend all the time I have here choosing happiness, and my days have just been great. Making the choice to be present and positive is a smart and rewarding choice! Its funny, the closer I get to the prospective leave date, the more I fall in love with this country and all the people in my life. Alhamdullilah, I'm so lucky to have things that'll make saying goodbye hard (if I have to, if I get the results i need to get, if things go as planned a big INSYAALLAH)

So, I know I promised to post twice a week, but I have missed posts two or three times already. The thing is, as much as I do love my blog- it is a space which I feel I can truly express myself, me and all my contradictory facets- I feel like a scheduled post time makes me post just because. I have content, but its not content I would post if I didn't have to. So I think I'll be reverting to just posting when I want to, instead of a promised time and date. Hopefully, that'll mean no more sub-par posts. I'm so sorry if this upsets any of you, but you can put your email in to get notified whenever I do post in the sidebar of the right, or follow me on twitter, I update overtime I post something new here. Occasionally, if I feel really strongly, I'll update my instagram about new posts, so you could follow me there too (shameless promo huhu). Maybe I won't post so often while I'm still in Malaysia, but I'm hoping to document a lot of my UK (insyaAllah, if I make it) experience on this blog!

I hope everyones been doing great, wherever you are in you life right now. Be present, make use of every moment. Hope you hear from you lot soon and often.

Love,

Mira

On my typos.

One of my closest acquaintances recently told me that the first thought he had while reading through my blog was : 

'Banyaknya typo.'

Yes, I leave my typo and grammar mistakes in, but contrary to popular belief it isn't because I'm too lazy to do a spell check. 

I remember in school a lot of my teachers and peers encouraged me to start a blog, write on a public space, share my thoughts, and all because I was good in english and grammar. At that point I was just like, yeah okay, I can write so I should write, but upon growing up, I've received soooooo many comments/messages from people who say they want to start a blog or they want to share their thoughts but they can't because their grammar isn't 'good enough'.

Okay so I get why grammar is important. I understand why language has to be standardised, that its important for a system to be in place so we can all understand what everyone is trying to get at, okay, point taken. But a lot of the time, these people who come up to me expressing their want to write but feel like they can't, have an understandable, communicable level of language proficiency anyway. The only thing is (and I realise that I am assuming a lot of this because I've never actually been in their position) that there embarrassed that someone will point out their grammar mistakes, and the point he/she has tried to convey becomes less important than the fact that they aren't as good at a language. 

I can't help but wonder how many people we shut down as less opinionated or less bright, simply because they have not mastered a language to its fullest. And mastering a language is more than just being smart; its a lot to do with societal background, opportunities to get education, family upbringing. Some people just don't have the chance to receive good formal education when it comes to the english language, and don't speak it at home either. Just because someone isn't fluent in english, by no means should it reflect their intellectual capability. In Mira's idealistic (and some may argue unattainable) world, everyone's opinions would be weighed equally, regardless of what language or level of proficiency the opinion has been conveyed in. And I don't know about you but idealistic just means its something I want to work for, not dismiss as impossible.

So I leave my typos/grammar mistakes in to sort of let y'all know that hey, you don't to have good english to share your opinions. Share in whatever way is comfortable to you. I like to keep my blog space kind of sempoi anyway, yknw, keep it real homies. If your command of the english language has been the factor that stops you from expression, then this post is for you; just write. I got your back, me and all my imperfect typos.

Or you know, maybe I'm just being suppppeerrrrr defensive about my writing style. You decide :)

Love,

Mira