On Happiness

I was very very very excited about completing my A levels. The dates lined up so that I would have exactly 10 days between my last paper and my 20th birthday, and when I first realised this months ago, I decided, I'm having a 10 day countdown/celebration.

Now, my idea of a celebration was pretty, well, unrealistic. I made it pretty clear that I was looking forward to this 10 day countdown period to everyone who held any significance in my life, and henceforth I assumed they'd get the hint; Celebrate me for 10 days godammit. I didn't hope for having a party everyday for ten days, of course. Instead it was more, I hope everyone does all they can to make me very very very happy for 10 days, and put me as top priority.

This was unrealistic for many reason. For one, hoping for peoples world to revolve around you for even the shortest amount of time is not something you can or should hope for. I know this, I totally understand every argument, but man, I really really really have always liked to be babied and get attention and physical proof of affection from my loved ones, and its been a part of me I've never really admitted because god forbid somebody call me an attention seeker and insecure ( side note, maybe I am an attention seeker and insecure, thats ok. Approaching 20 I'm proud to be honest about myself, like Tyrion Lannister said, know what you are, because the world will never forget, and use it like amour) In any case, given time to cool off, I do almost always manage to argue against my self-centredness, and realise that its not healthy to expect that sort of thing from people. The other thing was, even if everyone wanted to truly celebrate me, it was the absolute right time for me, but absolute wrong time for everyone else. My sister was enrolling into pre-u earlier than we expected, my friends are busy with exams or work, my boyfriend had 2 further maths papers, and well, no-one could devote 10 days to me.... 

I was very sad,  so I sulked and merajuk for the first day I was back. I kept thinking, why is my happiness not their priority? Why don't people want to do things for me that I'd do for them? Why am I not important, why are all my celebration plans not working out, how come no-one is cooperating?????  The second day I was back, I went out with Dina to get stuff for her pre-u sorted, when I came across this quote on a decorative item :

"Some pursue happiness, others make it"

And I thought, what the fuck am I doing expecting my happiness to be the responsibility of others??? Its not sustainable, you're putting yourself up for disappointment, and well, Mirr, you have chosen happiness so many times now, why for these 10 days expect others to choose it for you???? 

Its appealing, I like to feel like a princess, I like to be spoilt once in a while, and my birthday is probably the thing that I look forward to the most every year- its a big deal okay, I like growing up and I like celebration, birthdays are EXACTLY that. But like, if I was going to expect everyone to celebrate me for 10 days, or for that matter, if I was going to base my happiness on my actual birthday solely based on what others have planned, then I have no control on both my happiness or my expectations, and my birthday will always be an inadequate, unspecial affair.

I celebrated my 10 days alright, but in a different way than I expected. I allowed myself to fully realise how happy I am, did everything, ate everything, wore everything I felt like without giving into guilt. I let myself sleep in and not feel bad, I helped those who I could help. I mean, its not a celebration in the truest of terms, but I think I celebrated me and the person I've become. Plus, I kept to blogging every day, which allowed myself to feel productive, creative and well, good. This space makes me feel good.

I'm learning that expectations often lead to disappointment, and a lot of the time the things you hope to happen and the things that actually happen will be different. But different isn't always bad, but it is bad if thats all you allow it to be. 

I guess over these past 10 days I've learned that while artisan cakes, balloons, flowers, parties and surprises are nice, you've got to chose happiness for yourself, cause nobody will hand it to you on a silver platter. Which sounds a lil depressing on its own, but the flip side is nobody can take it all away from you either. 

Since my 10 days are over, I won't be blogging everyday anymore. But I will stick to a 2 post a week minimum; 9.30pm Saturday and 9.30pm Wednesday. So you can expect to see me put up a post at those times. Blogging everyday made me feel like I have a lot of friends, and for those of you who took the time to comment, email me or contact me on any sort of platform, I thank you so much! It always makes a huge difference to my day and my mood, and I hope we can be friends. Once again this is my email : ilmiramurni@yahoo.com , which I welcome for absolutely anything.

Also heads up, may not post tomorrow, but definitely will on Wednesday. I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I have writing, and I'll see you back here really soon.

Love,

Mira

Sometimes Johan gets tired....

I drive this car that no-one else at home uses, its not exactly my car but I am the sole driver. Its an old car and its blue and it has the life of a cheeky old man who still thinks its a teenage boy, so I named it Johan. When it gets naughty I call it Naib Johan.

Today Johan was very very naughty!

 Last night when I was driving home from hot yoga with Saida, I noticed that my lights were a little dim and my radio couldn't turn on. I was really scared it would die on me so I drove the home without my lights on, which was stupid... But anyway, I made it home safe!

This morning I started my boy Johan, and he seemed fine. I had a longggg day of errands (read, being driver to my siblings) ahead and really wanted my car to run smoothly. My first task, at 8am in the morning was to send Imran to one of his friends house. But on the way there, Johan died on me! At a T junction some more. Aiseiman, Johan, tahulah you penat but this is sooooo inconvenient.

It wasn't a good day to play damsel in distress. My dad was overseas for work, Ibu was a work and she's a doctor so, super busy and my boyfriend, has a really big paper tomorrow so I didn't want to trouble him. Plus, my brother and sister needed me. I realised I had to sort it out myself, and telling my parents/boyfriend that I was in trouble would only make them worried.

I got a kind stranger to drive me home to get my grandmas car, borrowed cones from a few shops and banks to make sure people don't run my car over (lol), and drove my brother to his friends house. Long story short, I got everything I had to do done, and the insurance company Im under sent a mechanic to sort things out.

HERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR YOU.

1. Always have a charged phone, or a power bank. If you are driving alone and your battery is low, skip the snapchat, you're going to need it

2. Always carry your AAM card! If you don't have one, get one, it'll save your life! They have a toll free hotline. They settled my car in about half an hour, and have brought it to the workshop to get fixed. Plus getting cars fixed under them usually means you won't get conned and whatever parts they put in would come with a warranty and stuff. Its not dodgy.

3. Don't be too timid and scared. Knock on windows to ask for help, go and approach that abang guard to ask if you can borrow those traffic cones. Being scared won't help, and its a completely solvable problem.

I am currently sitting at The Loaf at Sogo on Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. Which translates to, I'm fine and back to running errands (My brother needed to get some kain for IU day with his friends, god I feel like such a soccer mom driving teenage boys around.) Sitting here, I feel really, adult. I know it sounds a bit like I'm tooting my own horn but Mira one year ago would cry and be incapable of solving car breakdown issues on her own. I felt really good that I didn't just call someone to help me get through it, and that I still went on fulfilling my duties- today I am driver of Datin Ildina Murni, Dato' Imran Hakim & Puan Sri Putri Affiza. And also, I'm here doing work (ok fine blogging but thats sort of work) at a place which is leaps and bounds out of my comfort zone, because a bunch of kids needed to be here. And I didn't drive back cause it wasn't practical. I mean wow guys I'm choosing practicality over the prospect of a nap! I'm so ready to be a mom now! And I didn't just give up on the day, which is something Mira tends to do okay!!!!

In all seriousness, I do feel like I've somewhat grown, which is a nice thing to feel a few days away from your 20th birthday. I hope you to try to be independent in handling whatever life throws at you. I almost prefer this over being manja-ed, which is a big thing to admit (Naim, I said ALMOST, ok)

Hope everyone is feeling as good about themselves as I feel right now. Till tomorrow!

Love,

Mira

My everyday makeup

Makeup is something I've experimented with for quite a while now; I started wearing eyeliner when I was 13, which is not unusual, I think. I've been through no makeup phases, heavy makeup phases, and time where I felt like red was my everyday colour. Now, like pretty much everyone else, I'm into that natural, barely there, my face but better look. I felt like it would be fun to show my readers what I put on my face on a day to day basis, since I think I've developed a standard routine, and its the same products I reach for now. 

First thing I do to my face is moisturise, and I use this moisturiser from the Olay Regenerist line. I've talked about it in my March favourites post linked here if you want to check it out. I put it on my face and neck, because hey, necks need protecting too!

Next I use a CC cream from Glowing & Goodness. For my day to day use I'm not really looking for something to conceal everything, just something to even out my skin tone, brighten my skin and help protect my skin from UV rays. This CC cream doesn't have great coverage, but my older scars are pretty much blurred out when this is on. It does the job to brighten definitely and even out my skin tone, so I love it. This also has SPF and UVA and UVB protection.

On top of all that, its a local product and really reasonable priced. For me, a product I'm going to use everyday shouldn't be too expensive, but should be of good quality, and this CC cream ticks all the boxes. 

Top most is before CC cream, and bottom most is after. I only used a little amount, one tiny squeeze and t was enough. You can see that I have a cluster of newly pick pimples (lol) which is not concealed by the product, but I don't mind much. I feel like everything else about my skin looks better with it on.

Next step, and the most important one of all, is my brows. I've been using this eyebrow colour from IN2IT, and the little brush comes with the palette. I actually use the darker shade more often now, but a younger Mira thought the middle shade could be used as eyeshadow *cringeeee*  I love this product and swear by it. I don't like eyebrow pencils, and most other brow powders and gels are too creamy for my liking, making it really hard not to overdraw. This product is more powdery that creamy, but still not a powder, and its my go to brow product, all the time.

With and without brows

Sometimes I stop at my brows, but nowadays I go on and add some colour to my face, with blush and some lip colour

For blush and highlight, I use the things in this Balm Jovi pallete by The Balm. I brush the pink blush (the one in the largest square) on the apples of my cheeks, and use the highlight (largest circle) on my cheekbones, brow bone, and occasionally the bridge of my nose and my cupids bow. The highlight is actually the Mary-Lou Luminizer by The Balm, and I really like the gold shimmer it gives. As for lips, I found this beautiful nude colour from Silkygirl's Matte lipstick range. Its in the shade 01 Nearly Nude, and is nude with a slight tint of coral. It does a shit job at staying on though, so I pair it with this brown lip liner from Catrice. On its own, its quite dark and Dina says I look really ugly, but under a coral-y lipstick, it becomes a really nice nudish brownish shade which I really really like.

                                             

I end up going out looking a little like this. I don't put on mascara because I have literally close to no eyelashes, mascara isn't even worth it especially since taking it off is the worst. I don't go out with powder either, because the CC cream and my moisturiser does a good job at balancing my skin, and my once really oily skin isn't so oily anymore, and I don't find the need to blot, or anything like that. 

I thought you guys might be interested, this is my makeup at the end of today, after I spent a day out, performed my prayers which means I had to wash my face for ablution, and took a nap snuggled under my blanket. No touch ups. Lip color has faded and my cheeks aren't as rosy, but my brows are still good. Main thing though is my skin, I mean, it doesn't look like Ive had a layer of gunk on. With other drugstore BB creams, foundations and concealers, I've noticed after a while you can tell that someones been wearing base product, because it turns almost greyish and like, it looks like its not sticking on the skin anymore. But this CC cream still looks good, so I'm definitely sticking to this. 

I hope you enjoyed this post, its a little different, but hey, there's a girly side to me too. Till tomorrow!

Love,

Mira

Choosing the wrong education path?

My little sister just enrolled into a foundation in science programme today. Leading up to this day though, Dina has been questioning whether or not she's doing the right thing and going for the right education path. I understand the worry, because well, everybody has their moments where they really really aren't sure what to do in life. In fact, some people spend their whole lives just wondering...

Figuring out your calling is (quite commonly) a scary and confusing process, and a lot of people stress out about not having found it, or realising that maybe their interests have changed. I know when you're facing these big personal issues, the first reaction is to panic! breakdown! cancel all motivation! But I feel like you could never really choose the wrong education path.

A degree, or any academic qualification for that matter, to me is an opportunity. There are a lot of jobs out there that you can only hold if you have some sort of academic qualification, its true. But just because you have a degree in say healthcare, it doesn't mean you're limited to healthcare. I know, easier said than done, but its true, and there are a lottttt of people out there who can make it in careers that are totally opposite from what they studied at first ( Just in Malaysian Fashion : Vivy Yusuf & Fadza, Nurul Zulkifly, Nelissa Hilman to name a few) So if you end up not liking what your studying, then don't worry too much. Give it your best, as you should with everything, get that qualification then pursue your dreams, WHATEVER it may be.

Anna Akana said in a video once, How you make money, and what you pursue as your career don't have to be the same thing.  You can watch the whole video here. My takeaway from it is if you ever find yourself in a place where you feel like you're doing something you shouldn't be doing, you don't havee to be miserable. You could go all for it; change your course, quit your job, etc, but if that's not something you'd feel comfortable doing, then pursue things that make you happy in your free time! Personally, I honestly don't know what kind of job I will end up having, but if it means I'm behind a counter dispensing drugs then I don't think I will be at my happiest. But thats the thing, I don't have to do that if I don't want to. I know realistically my options will never be endless and vast, but I believe that I can change my luck and don't have to (read, should not) settle for things that make me miserable. I'll give it all up and work as an assistant at a florist, take care of peoples babies, something, anything, theres a way. Some people will say I'm naive and too positive, but ah well, I'll take it as a compliment.

In conclusion, I think we should stop regarding our education paths as things that restrict us for the rest of our lives. It is a ticket to one opportunity, one that you probably wanted at one point in life, so do your best and count your blessings that you even have this opportunity to begin with. When the time comes, you can take it, or go for something better. If you give your best at everything, and treat every experience as a learning curve, then there is no such thing as wasted time or resources, cause even a degree you didn't enjoy will teach you something. Always remember that you can make your life more than what you studied and what you do for a job, if you want it to be. The onus of happiness and fulfilment is on you, and you alone! If we make a small change in our mindsets toward education, I believe, we'll all be a little less stress in finding our calling, and a little more motivated to do better.

And if you absolutely don't know what you want to do, don't fret, not all who wander are lost and you can extract happiness from other things. 

And dina if you're reading this, we will be happy sisters together forever, so don't worry too much okay bb. We will have nice brunches and family dinner to make up for the crappy (though hopefully not) jobs we have! I love you Dins! And leave your comment below for Dina if you want, Ill be sure to pass on the message.

Love,

Mira

Spicy Ramen Challenge!

I convinced a very special person to do this challenge with me, you can watch below. Enjoy! 

Love,

Mira

Finding Fitness

I'm far from the athletic type.

Exercising and I just don't gel, we just don't. I don't look forward to the opportunity to run across a field, sweating quite frankly disgusts me, and every time I run I get a head ache. I don't know if its the Malaysian heat, the fact that I'm not good at sports to begin with, or that I once was forced to jog every Sunday morning, it seems I'll always have an excuse, and when it comes to excuses, I can come up with rather good ones.

I hate working out!

At the same time, my parents keep urging me to go get physical, badan cergas minda cerdas after all. But I'm stubborn, and lazy, and a whole other list of things. But hey, it turns out, exercise is kind of super important. Let me tell you why.

Ibu told me that womens bone density stops developing around after 25, and from there, it goes down down down baby. Thats why women are so prone to osteoporosis and breaking their hip bones! So along with getting plenty of calcium (important sidetone :  everyone giving up dairy, you better get calcium from somewhere or your bones gonna be so weak!) one way to build up bone density is to exercise.

Breaking my bones scares me, so I occasionally try to do something physical. Like most people (I assume) the first thing I did was go jogging. But oh god, I hate jogging. I hate it the most. Sometimes after I jog, people will be really shocked that I'm exercising and ask me why I do it, and I'll lie and say ' It makes me feel so good after, you know'

LIE

It feels like someone took all my muscles out, slammed it repeatedly against a wall for an hour, then put them back it. Horrible I tell you.

I asked my good friend Firzanah for advice. Fie is a workout junkie! She lives for the stuff, and exercising is her true passion. I told her I hate jogging and she told me this

'Then don't do it.'

Fie said its important to know yourself, what kind of exercise works for you. Its important that you get in some cardio, and jogging is not the only way to do that! Even fie admitted that jogging isn't for her, and she only just realised that she shouldn't push her body to do something it clearly does not like doing. Things like cycling, swimming, aerobics and HIIT/PIIT will help you reap the same benefits jogging will give you. The important thing in staying healthy is consistency, and you can only do that when you are motivated to keep exercising. So find the thing that suits you!

My favourite form of exercise now is yoga, and I attend classes at HotYo studio in Hartamas from time to time. Hot yoga is basically doing yoga, but in a sauna, so you sweat more and you get more benefits. Its a great studio, the instructors are attentive and friendly, and thats the one exercise form that I'd gladly do, any day of the week. If you're interested, you can check out their page here or their instagram ; @hotyo.studio . Just a disclaimer, I'm in no way sponsored by them (or any other brand for that matter) but it really is a great studio, especially if its your first time.

Heres to leading healthy lifestyles guys. I still have a long way to go, but step by step riiight?

Love,

Mira

#HerClaimToFame styling session

In conjunction with Mothers Day, Mimpikita, NelissaHilman, DippedRow, and Frankitas held a joint giveaway competition on instagram ; #HerClaimToFame. I tried my luck, as I always do with giveaways like these, and didn't win. But guess what, my sister did! Hahaha.

Dina's winning post!

So the winners could treat their mom to a shopping spree totalling up to RM1000, and even though I didn't win (lol), I still got to treat my mom to a major treat with these four coveted brands. Ibu is not the type to splurge, shop or keep up with the trends much, so I was happy to be an important part of her shopping experience. (Side note : so fun to watch a down to earth woman on a shopping spree!)

We got to MimpiKita at around 4pm, and met up with Nurul, Tati and the rest of the MimpiKita team, as well as Lina from Dipped Row and Nelissa from NelissaHilman shoes. They set up a cute little display for DippedRow, NelissaHilman and Frankitas, and told us we could browse the store for an outfit from MimpiKita. Ibu and I had fun browsing, and I was pushing Ibu to get something from MimpiKita's Lebaran collection because hello the prints are gorgeous! But Ibu had her eyes on a draped Baju Kurung set in red, which really did compliment her skin tone.

Ibu's top from MimpiKita.

Everyone was really helpful and friendly, helping Ibu with what to choose. The baju kurung needed a little bit of alteration done, and Tati was soo helpful in that department. I've heard MimpiKita staff we're super helpful like that, and now I can testify, top notch customer service!

Nelissa Hilman and Ibu are now shoe twins

Ibu is not a heels kind of person, so she was very happy to know that there were flat shoes in the range (which btw, are sooooo crazy comfortable). + they cater for slightly wider footed people, which is exactly what Ibu needs. She loved this black pair, and got to chatting with Nelissa about life. Upon telling Nelissa that she works in UM and studied there, Nelissa said 'Oh! I did chemical engineering at UM too!' And internally my jaw dropped because I had no idea, but you know I kept my cool. Im always fascinated by people who end up doing something completely different from their degrees. The likes of Vivy Yusuf and Nelissa gives me hope that if I ever end up hating my job and the degree Im pursuing, I can do anything I want if I work for it. 

It was a super fun evening. I told them Ibu just recently hiked up Mt Kinabalu, and they were asking a lot of questions about that. Ibu was smiling really big, which is always a nice thing to see, and it was a fun bonding session with her.

Im really happy that we got this opportunity. I mean, who doesn't love a free shopping spree ? But more than that, Im so glad cause I do think Ibu deserves to be spoilt like this. She's a simple lady, and the most hard working person I know. Her motto in life is, 'Anything worth doing is worth doing right' and she gives her all in everything she does and goes for everything she wants to go for. She's not the sporty type but she conquered Mount Kinabalu. She's got a PhD, bakes her own bread, and tends to her own vegetable patch (we even don't have to but veggie's sometimes now!). My grandma always reminds me, 'Your Ibu is the best eldest daughter anyone could ever ask for' and my wan says she's so lucky to have Ibu as a daughter in-law. Clearly I have big shoes to fill in (and now those shoes are from Nellisa Hilman, aduihh) . I try to be half as good as my Ibu, but man, its not easy. In any case, I really do look up to her, and I'm so glad she got this treat. So thank you MimpiKita, Nelissa Hilman, DippedRow and Frankitas. My mom is a very very happy today.

Also, after our little spree, Ibu said, 'Oh, we have to stop by the shop to get fertiliser. And don't forget to buy something for your siblings'

Ibu keeps it real, beli baja after shopping.

I love you Ibu! And thats all for today guys :)

Love,

Mira

Beggars : To give or not to give.

I've noticed that almost every time I'm eating out, or just lepaking with my friends, I'm almost always approached by one party or another asking me for money. This issues' been fairly talked about in Malaysia, some people believe that giving money to beggars is bad, supports begging culture and doesn't solve the root problem of why people have to beg in the first place. Others publish about the reasons people have to resort to begging, tugging on heart strings and that it was entrenched in the system for these people to beg. Like every issue, theres two sides to the coin, but I'm always faced with the confusing question, do I give this pakcik 2 ringgit or not? 

Last year, Israr Khalid, a journalist from Astro Awani published that a beggar in KL can make up to RM 18240 a month. Thats a crazyyyy amount of money in my opinion. While he did admit that the generosity of the public should be applauded, it is a bit suspicious. It raises issues are there begging syndicates that kidnap and force people to beg, are people just not wanting to find a job which then means they can get decent money and don't have to pay tax and help the economy at the end of the day. Should we give people money, when they put up a false image and pretty much deceive us? 

While it all makes sense, I always feel kind of bad when I'm sitting at a cafe, drinking my RM 12 chai latte and this old man/woman is in rags and asking me for my spare change. Plus, I believe that human were made with at least a little bit of ego. I'd think you'd have to be pretty desperate to resort to asking strangers for money, and to have to do it every day.... And I can't help but wonder, even if there were syndicates and fakes out there, what if this person doesn't get to eat today? What if he/she hasn't eaten in a week? What if they actually need it.

Even with all this sentiment, in the past I mostly didn't give money to beggars (I have a pretty limited allowance okay!). Its really easy to buy into the, 'their fakes and are cheating you for your money' argument when you see the same beggar at targetted locations most days of the week. But quite recently, my opinion on this whole issue changed. 

One day I was eating at a mamak with my best friend Saida, and this beggar came to us and we *politely* declined, and went on eating. This beggar went on, asking patrons at the mamak for money, and most people didn't bat an eye. At the same time, there was this pakcik by the roadside selling woven baskets and fans, and he was just sitting down. When this beggar crossed paths with the pakcik, he didn't ask him for money because well, their both out on the streets. But the pakcik stopped him, and gave the beggar ten ringgit. After a while, this pakcik went around trying to sell his fans and baskets, and Saida and I felt so ashamed. We were two people, who didn't have to worry about our next meal and could afford to order sotong goreng to go with our roti canai and didn't give anything to the beggar. While this man, who clearly had sooooo little, was donating to someone in need. 

Another thing that made me change my perspective about this was a story my Grandma told me. Grandma lives a comfortable life, she can afford to indulge in a cool tech toy every now and then off her pension fund. My siblings and I joked around saying that she is #lifegoals and we want to be able to afford her lifestyle and all that, then my grandma told us her story. She says when she was a little girl, her parents used to give her some pocket money everyday to spend at school. It wasn't much, like 40 cents (which could buy you a meal back in the day). On her route to school, there was always this old blind man just sitting down reading the Quran. Grandma would give him a fraction of her pocket money, 5 cents or 10 cents. It was never a lot but she did it everyday and it seemed like my grandmas few cents were his bread and butter. Grandma believes with all her heart that all her rezeki and fortune was because of those few cents she gave to that old man everyday, and she told us, if you can afford to eat out, you can afford to give people a little bit at least. What goes around comes around, insyaAllah, murah rezeki if you take kedekut rezeki.

So I've promised myself one thing. Considering that I don't have income but I can afford a few finer things in life, I'm going to set an amount to donate per week. Once I've reached that quota, I'll have a reason to say no to the next beggar, but if I haven't, then I have no reason not to help someone who may need it more than I do. It doesn't have to be much, but to a person who needs it, a little bit does go a long way. 

Till tomorrow then!

Love,

Mirr

Apartment 5

In my first two semesters in KYUEM, I was hardly ever in my assigned room. I was always bunking in one chalet or the other, curled into bean bags and living out of a suitcase, but oh boy it was so fun. All my closest friends welcomed me in and it was a hugeee plus point that the chalets were so much nearer to the acad blocks then the apartments were. It took me half the effort, half the time, half the everything to get to my classes; the apartments were literally on the other side of the world and I dreaded it. 

Coming into senior year all my closest friends had finished their time in KY, flew off to pursue their degrees and left me chalet-less. I had no choice but to settle for the apartment the administration had assigned me to ( accommodation is first come first serve during registration day, and my batch was too big to allow for every girl to be moved into a chalet during her senior year). I decorated my room to the absolute max to make up for it, but after a while, my room turned out to be the best apartment everrrr and its all thanks to Aisyah, Kas and Farr, my roommates.

Farr and I were good friends since TKC times. She's kinda loud and a little bit crazy, but whenever Im sick she literally wipes down my body and feeds me and babies me like the softie mat settle she is. Aisyah I met in KY, we have all the same classes (well, I took econs and she took psychology but we both dropped it after AS) and the system kind of forced us to be together all the time. She has a resting bitch face (and she knows it) + she's more of the quiet kind so I used to be pretty intimidated by her (hi Aisyah, its true, please don't use this against me). But guys she's honestly so kind. She's the only one with a fridge and lets us all come into her room to borrow it and to just hang. Like, we just hang out in her room, its like the relaxation hub, and she's never chased any of us out or anything like that, so most of our great roommate moments were in her room (I miss it almost as much as I miss my own room tbh). And then we have Kas, oh Kassy-ku. Kasthuri, well, she's from Kedah and when I first met her she was a scared little indian girl who just came to the city type. She's cute and talkative and friendly, and we just love teaching her things that would make any naive little indian girl blush. But she's like so sporting, and I've witnessed her grow soooo much. 

Occasionally (read : often) people will come to our room to study, or to hang out. Anisah and Fie we're always just popping in and out (and we'd always know when Fie was coming cause she'd SLAM the door on her way in). Towards the end of it, Adriana was in our room pretty much the whole day, except when she needed to sleep or mandi or things like that. She set up a port at our common room table didn't leave if she didn't absolutely have to. All these people helped make the room cheery and fun.

The way our apartment works is that we pretty much do our own stuff, and let each other have the space to do whatever it is that we want to do. We're pretty different people inherently, but we all respect and learn from each other. In our last semester we were pretty much just studying in our own rooms most of the time. Once in a while, after doing a paper or when we get stressed, one person will walk into Aisyahs room and plonk herself on the bed. Slowly another person joins in, and another, and another. Then everyone forgets the fact that we actually are supposed to be studying and the conversation quickly turns to religion or gossip or sex, you know, the usual 20- something topics. When I get to stressed I'll attempt to twerk and we'd google tutorials on how to do that because its harder than it looks guys! Someone would come in and just randomly ask, 'Kas do you know what oral is?' and we'd have to teach her and watch her eyes bulge out of her head and have a good old laugh in the process.

Most of the stories and pictures we have are way too X rated or personal to be shared so publicly, we were in close quarters so we've literally seen and smelt it all. We weren't always seen with each other stuck like glue outside of our room, but within apartment 5, Id like to say we were pretty damn close. We shared our different views and became wiser after every session, assured each other that you did not have to be fair skinned, big boobed or flat stomach to be beautiful. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't think I could ever have gotten more blessed in the roommate department. We balanced each other out, and though we weren't very openly affectionate with each other ( in fact there were some very strong love-hate sentimenta sometimes), I love my roommates. 

I hope everyone reading has the pleasure of meeting people who may not have the same viewpoint as you and learn from them. It makes for lovely friendships, you can take my word for it.

Love, 

Mirr

Im through with A2!

I am a truly happy child.

Currently I'm on my roommates (Aisyah's) bed, because my room has been cleared out and I hateeee the empty walls. In an hour or so I'll be on the way, if not already, at home. I'm the first one in my apartment to go home for good, and I'm that in that typical bitter sweet mood that comes with goodbyes. 

A levels was tough man, I'll tell you that. I guess I've always had it easy in my studies, putting in minimal effort and getting by fine, but for A levels, I had to grind (and I mean grind - my closest friends were kind of shocked to see me care so much). But it has come and it has gone, I'm grateful to say that I think I couldn't have done my papers any better, so even if things ultimately don't go my way, I've done my absolute best and thats the best place I can be. 

A handful of people have been asking me whats next. And the honest answer is, I get to be an absolute bum again and not feel guilty about it, the joy! I have a few months off before I'll even know for sure whats next in my education path. A levels results come out sometime in August, and IF I meet my sponsors and university requirements, then insyaAllah, Ill be pursuing Pharmacy in UCL, London. Thats a bigggg if ( and that one chem paper was pretty tough....) but if I don't get to execute my plan A, I've got backup plans (Murni Midwife Service, anyone?)

But in the mean time, I want pursue things thats been on my to do list for absolute ages. I wanna learn how to sew, start cooking again, and basically do everything I've been putting off since my A levels grind started. In relation to that, I'm planning on selling off my textbooks, other useful books and some of my clothes/stuff for quite cheap ( A levels textbooks burn multiple holes in you pockets believe me), but I'm not sure what medium is best, so I'll set up a poll by my sidebar so you can vote. If you do know anybody who will be taking A levels, and is planning on doing Chemistry, Biology and Maths (+ taking statistics), you can tell them to contact me! But anyway, something really exciting ( I feel) is that I have a ten day countdown to my 20th birthday ( YES, 20!!! ) so I want write one blogpost everyday up till the 28th of May. You can expect a post every 9.30 pm, or maybe slightly earlier, but Ill try make that 9.30 deadline for all you readers!

I'm honestly filled with so much emotion right now. KY is a place where I did a lotttt of growing up, and a lot of learning. My first two sems I discovered the most supportive network of friends ever, and my second two, I learned to grow and be completely true to my self. Also, I loveeee my apartment mates. We have this ongoing joke that our lives together can be turned into a sitcom, and its not even half false. As far as roommates go, I don't think I could've gotten luckier. I'll write about my crazy little apartment 5 in an exclusive post later! The thing is, I've gotten attached to my room a lot, as in, my personal room not the apartment we share. I don't have a room thats exclusively mine at home ( and I don't mind it one bit) but I really did turn my room into my space, had a whole wall full of pictures, I was in complete control over how I wanted it to be like. But now that I'm leaving, I just had to take down all my photos and pack up my candle corner, and damn, it feels so different. Un-making the room mine was so weird, and thats when i realised that as much as Im dying to live my life out of this jungle-bound campus, I truly will miss it here.

Till tomorrow darlings.

Love,

Mirr