How do I make friends again?

I think I'm a friendly person.

Being an extrovert is something I definitely identify with. And despite some people telling me that I may come off as slightly intimidating, I'd like to think I'm pretty approachable, pretty friendly, pretty kool.

So the whole of last week I had induction, which was my first real encounter with being in university. I know, I know, inductions aren't usually reflective of what really goes down and tend to be boring and dragged out, but I was quite excited for it. It might have been the whole 'I travelled so far and worked so hard to be here' mindset, but yes, I was starry-eyed and snapping pictures to send to my loved ones. I think UCL is beautiful, and since I have to walk to get everywhere, I've been feeling rather touristy in my campus. But anyway, thats besides the point.

So I was excited; excited to see the faculty, excited to make new friends, excited to enter this whole new independent uber adult chapter in life. The least of my worries was making new friends because, hey, I'm friendly, I'm an extrovert, I make friends all the time. Easy peasy, piece of cake.

But oh mannnnnnnnnnn, I was wrong.

Being in a place where nobody knows anything about you, at all, makes you feel very small. Now that coupled with the fact that you are a foreigner, theres a crowd where everyone flocks with people who look like themselves and you don't really fit in into any place (#ethinicallyambigious) I was, perhaps for the first time in absolute years, really scared of making new friends.

Ah yes, I, Ilmira, all smiles and super talkative wanted to crawl into a ball and die of nervousness. 

I know it all sounds negative, but I'm not taking it has a total bad thing. Part of the reason why I wanted to come to a different country was to push my boundaries, get out of my comfort zone, and man its doing just that. In Malaysia, in almost every new place I'm at, theres bound to be someone who's heard of me somewhere; whether its from debate, or some super juicy gossip, or a friend of a friend, all this pre-knowing made it so easy for me to make friends. But now, when all that is gone, now what do you do Mirr, NOW WHAT.

I've been fighting the urge to pick up my phone and text my significant other. Been making the initiative to start the convo first, and yes, it gets weird after 5 minutes of silence, you're sitting next to this girl and the both of you are just...sitting there.... and turning around and saying 'HI' now would be a little weird but hey, DO IT. Making conversation is as easy as asking basic questions like, 'Are you from London?' , 'Its cold isn't it?' , 'What did you do yesterday?'. And the worsttttt thing that could happen is the conversation goes a little flat, but the best thing that could happen, you find someone who teaches you a lot, who helps you develop and is all around a great person to know and be with.

So yeah, this post is just a little shoutout to everyone who's ever or is currently struggling with making new friends. I know its not easy.  But I'm pretty sure everyone is feeling a little nervous too, so go ahead and say hi, compliment someone on something, complain about the weather to a stranger, do something. And on the worst of your days, remember that its completely normal, and even the most friendly/open/outgoing of people who share their lives on the internet (like me lol) gets a little nervous too.

Love from London,

Mirr