What a year.

2015 was the year of earthquakes.

I started the year with a broken heart, and my life was shaken up from day one. A lot of things changed, against my will, and I was a crying wreck for the most part. The year started with me constantly feeling inadequate, and I fed off the negativity, beating myself up in the process.

Earthquakes though, are the perfect opportunity for reconstruction.

I ended the year feeling happier than I've ever felt, feeling more myself than I've ever been, being the most honest with myself than I ever dared to be. I ended the year, in a good place. In a place where I could chose happiness, where I never really felt lonely, and most importantly, a place where I could love myself.

In 2015, I was at my absolute weakest when I found true love, in the form of open arms, offers to bunk in the corners of people's chalets, and so much patience. I witnessed friends who once saw me at my strongest, love me just as equally as I literally crumbled. Friends who have never seen me anywhere near that weak, hold my hand and told me that I am not a disappointment, that I am okay. Friends that proved that they'd always be there, almost volunteering to hold my hand even if it meant walking through hell with me. I got so much care from a group of girls who had only my weakest to judge me by, they offered me their homes and unconditional love. They loved me so hard, I am still filled to the brim with it, four months after every single one of them moved out of the country. I met a boy who was overflowing with understanding, someone who allowed me to grow, someone who changed all my previous definitions of love.

In 2015, I was so desirably thin, so unhealthy, and so unhappy. I started eating, I started putting health first. I stopped believing in my narrow definition of beauty. I stopped pretending to have skin that I don't have, stopped punishing my body for the simple act of supporting my being. Beauty, I've decided, is a state of mind, not a size or a skin type. It is being comfortable at your very core about the person you honestly are. I fought against my own self, and I won.

In 2015, I went after what made me happy. I came to terms with a whole lot of things, and I pursued what I thought was necessary. In 2015, I achieved genuine happiness and acceptance of myself, and that was harder than any debate tournament, exam or interview. 

2015 was the year that I began to truly, love myself.

I think thats important. You need to create a life that you are proud of, one that you can smile when you're alone reflecting. You need to be able to walk alone in the crowd and be okay, we need to be able to be sure of ourselves. Loving yourself, I've learned, is the prerequisite to loving others properly. It is the basis of making good choices, it is vital in the construction of a life that you can be proud of. 

I want to do for the world what my loved ones have done for me. I want to shock people with my capacity to love, my ability to accept, and my will to keep going. 

I also want to attempt to blog more regularly (hahhaaahahaa, seriously though)

Happy first day of the year everybody, thank you tons for helping me create this space. Its become an important facet of my being, thank you. Good luck with 2016, you have my absolute best wishes.

Love,

Mirr