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My weekend has been crazy eventful, to say the least.

I can't even brain how I managed to do everything that I did in one weekend ; amongst the things that I fit in was celebratory dinners, adventures at FRIM, a doa selamat and hosting a bbq. Im so tired, Im actually glad to be on my bed in KY right now. Like nope, no homesickness yet, just enjoying my almond milk and my lemon cakes, glad to be lying down. My roommates even pointed out how tired I looked and told me to sleep, which I should probably do soon because I also happen to have succesfully kept my cough and cold from last week.

(How long is this going to last honestly ?!?!?)

But in all seriousness, I actually had a few events this weekend that lead to some huge epiphanies.

1. Life is precious and fragile, and something that needs to be actively cherished.

I got into a pretty bad accident (while driving) as well as attended a funeral for the father of one of my oldest friends. Both these events made me go through very different emotions, but reach very similar conclusions; to carpe diem the heck out of life. In the accident, I got very lucky. If I wasnt wearing my seat belt or if anything was different about it, I probably wouldn't be typing this right now. I know its a no brainer that life is meaningful, but I feel like so many people live without really actualising that fact, you know ? Like even me, I spend a bit too much time on my phone reading articles and overanalysing song lyrics and overthinking about scenarios that may not even happen that sometimes I forget to enjoy everything around me. And thats important, because you literally do not know when things will end, or whether or not you will get the chance to revisit a moment. And my gosh, take care of your words with people. Try not to go to sleep mad even if it means apologising first, because you don't know which words will be the last you say to a person. Your ego can't be more important than that right? Also, its ultra important to focus on the things and people that matter, and quit wasting you time on things that are toxic and are bad for you, life is wayyy too short for that. I guess this epiphany is one I can't really explain, but when my chest hit my steering wheel, I felt more scared than I ever have been, and I keep reminding myself to be grateful that Im still here, walking and fine and just alive. As a result life just seems so much more, meaningful. 

2. It is actually super important to attend kenduris and events of that sort.

When we were younger all these kenduris and doa selamats and funerals were probably just, things you had to follow your parents for. Or at least for me, it honestly was. I mean, I went without complaining and did everything that I had to every time but I never really saw how important it was to just like, attend. Like why is it rude for me not to go to a kenduri? Whats so important about coming together and praying why cant I do that at home and pray for you? 

Now that Im older, Im going to doa selamats for my actual friends, who I know and have come to love. Im going to funerals of people that I know directly, not just people my parents know. I've realised why people say its rude not to attend kenduris and the likes, because your attendance matters. Kenduris and doa selamats are more than just meeting people and eating food, its a way of showing people that you are here to support them and that you want to help them in prayer, which to me, is pretty special. I mean think about it, someone coming to your house to attempt to wish good things from God just for you, thats pretty intense caring if you ask me. I now view kenduris and doa selamats and funerals totally differently now, their not just a thing we do because its part of our culture, it provides for a platform for reaching out and supporting one another, and why wouldn't you want to do that for the people who have been good to you.

3. You are not the only one transitioning. 

Im at that age in between adolescense and being an adult, and there have been books and movies and songs written about this transition and how tough and conplicated it will be, how you will find yourself etc etc etc. But people tend to forget to write about the transition others are going through because of your transition, case in point, your parents. Now especially if you are the first child, your transition may be hardest on you, but also hard on your parents. It'll be weird to draw lines of where your sovereignity starts and your 'being their child' ends. Your lines and their lines will probably not match, and there will be a lot of frustration because of this but tis life ! Just try and remember that your parents and guardians are humans too, they also need time to adapt to changes. When they're being slightly fussy, its probably not because they want to make your life harder, but its probably because their going through something to but can't go full on whiny because they have to be parents or they're just as lost as you are in what to do when we reach this transition period. Just ride the waves guys, and remember that your folks sacrificed a lot to raise you up, you can afford to be patient.

I was so busy this weekend I hardly have pictures to show for it. But a quick shout outs to : 1. My parents for being the coolest and sorting out my whole getting into an accident , 2. Dina for being the best sister in the world , 3. Saida for my KL scarf from duckscarves and 4. Naim, for being the best get-things-done-and-have-some-fun partner in the universe.

How was your merdeka weekend? 

Love, 

Mirr